The seventh sky...yes that is what September means

And it really meant so the September 2010. Now back from GuruPoornima, i was once again in the cycle of pain and not able to eat, blockage seemed to be complete in my colon. So on the 7th of Sept, after chemo I got admitted to the hospital to see what best to be done. I was on IV once again with no food or water. My abdomen was completely bloated and nothing would get out, then came the weekend and Alma visited me. Every night at the hospital I experienced pain in my physical body and every moment I accepted it with a smile. The pain would vanish into the being of nothingness and I would fall asleep like a baby. That weekend I finally decided to accept the other fact that i needed a colostomy. Mark fry called and he was the link sending the details of my state to Guruji, Swamijee's and everyone.

The fun part in all these was that, with the IV fluid and nearly 10 days of fasting I was glowing, ha! ha!. Although on the 12th of Sept. I declared that I am ready for the surgery but it wouldnot happen so soon. The grumbling and rumbling sound in my belly was so strong that patients from the other rooms could hear it. Every moment of my physical awareness was painful but every moment of accepting it and surrendering brought that bliss and peace which nothing could shake up.

On my declaration of getting ready for surgery my resident doctor Julie was very happy but then the surgery department delayed even to come and see me till 3 more days. Then the surgical resident came on the 4th day...Thursday morning... and declared it won't happen till the next monday. I was in pain, I was irritated for a couple of hours and then once again I just felt a wave of bliss with acceptance of the fact that GURUJI is taking care and let it be as it is. It may be 10 min after this wave that the surgeon came and told that I was going to be operated the very next morning. Once again acceptance and surrender played its role when desires get fulfilled and miracles happen.

The whole journey since the last few months had been repeatedly of acceptance and surrender bringing me to bliss again and again.

The surgery was done and I did a penguin dance that very night when the nurse asked me to stand up (as a part of post surgery exercise), everyone in the room broke to huge laughter. As days followed I got more and more steady and on monday evening I was released, free to come back home, where there was another challenge waiting....dealing with the pain, food and taking care of myself on my own. But then everything was arranged by GURUJI's grace. In the next posting I will take you through that part of the journey.

Till then....wish you love, peace and joy,
Jai Gurudev

Now I was back from Gurupoornima

The grace and calmness almost never left me except for moments when I was in severe pain. It was August 7th and once again I was back in the ER but this time I was able to come out pretty soon. With my chemo rounds still on, once every week for three weeks and one week break, I was getting weak physically, as I was unable to eat. Food that I loved to cook, feed and eat became a horror for me but within nothing was changing. Times of pain, I immersed in deep prayers and gratitude. There was no complain but yes discomfort at the physical level. After two weeks viola! once again I was back in the hospital, this time they shifted me to a proper bed out of the ER on the 8th floor. It was one of my longest stay and in a way a nice one. I know I was in pain then how come it was a nice one....so it goes thus. I never lost my smile and keeping my other roommates busy with laughter and yes all the three were much much elderly ladies.

We had planned for a satsang on the 29th of August, the first in Sherbrooke after I came here. In the hospital, people kept visiting me...David brought me the best gift.."Shiv Shutras" which became an integral part of me. I was very well equipped with my computer, ipod, DVD's...so nothing was missing. But then while others had doubt about the satsang, I was very sure of if...it was not "I" but something greater and my speech was.."even if I can't be there the satsang will happen". But viola! on the 27th of August I was discharged..( that is how GURU works..amazing)...rested on the 27th, made phone calls on the 28th and on 29th we had nearly 27-28 people for the satsang. It was great. During my time in the hospital bed, I used to plan out things using my ipod touch notebook and calender, then when Catherine used to visit me we made a final plan for all the activities to be happening in the Autumn session.

The satsang was GREAT!...and in all I felt only one thing that it all happened...nothing was done...I did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING....

So that is the GURU's grace which flowed in the month of August...

As I write my whole self is just rejoicing with gratitude and love....

Will come back in soon......